“Hey Vera,” I said. “I figured out a way to swear but not really swear.”
“Let’s hear it,” Vera said.
“ASS--stronaut,” I said.
Roaring laughter.
“DAM--age,” I added.
More roaring laughter.
“I know one,” Vera said. “HELL --icopter”
More hideous laughter.
Julie got into the act. “Here’s one Dad taught me. ‘SON OF A BIT--my finger off.”
Even more hideous laughter. Probably what made it so funny to us was the fact that we had never heard our parents utter an actual swear word.
We joked that Dad or Mom would come down the stairs and get mad if we laughed too loud.
Vera said -- more to scare us than warn us -- “Here comes Dad and he’s real mad!”
I added, “Here comes Mom and she’s got a bomb!”
Most nights someone would drift off to sleep and the rest of us would quiet down. I would go back to my room after that.
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